Wedding Photography for Couples Who Hate Having Their Photo Taken
If you hate having your photo taken, the way I photograph weddings will suit you down to the ground. I don't pose, I don't direct, I don't stop the day to arrange people and I will never ask you to “do that again!”, so the only time you'll be aware of a camera is a 20-minute walk during the drinks reception, and even that is optional.
Most of the couples who email me say some version of the same thing. "We're allergic to posing." "We're super awkward people." "My partner will tolerate about an hour of photos, max." "We're not photo people but we want photos." These are literally exact quotes that I’ve collected from emails I’ve received and below I’ll discuss my replies that i tend to send as the answers.
We hate being photographed. Does that rule out good wedding photos?
No. It rules out one kind of wedding photography, the kind where you stand where you're told and smile on cue, and that isn't what I do. The photographs couples tell me they love most are the ones they didn't know were being taken: a parent's face during the vows, the two of you laughing at something a friend said, the dance floor at midnight.
The phrase I hear most often after a wedding is "I forgot you were there." If you spend your ceremony wondering whether the photographer is getting the shot, the photographer is doing something wrong.
We're completely allergic to posing. How much posing is there?
None during the ceremony, the speeches, the first dance or anything in between. I'm watching what happens and photographing it, not arranging it.
There's one planned exception, and it's short. Most couples take 20 to 30 minutes during the drinks reception to walk somewhere quiet with me for a few photographs of the two of you. I'll suggest a couple of spots at the venue that work in the light we've got and we wander. Nobody says "chin down" or "look at each other and laugh". I won’t even tell you to kiss (although if you do, I’ll probably take a photo of it). Most couples tell me afterwards it was the calmest 20 minutes of their day, as they got to have a break from the crowd. if you'd rather skip it entirely though, we skip it. I’ve done that plenty of times.
We don't want to disappear for two hours of photos
You won't. The portrait walk is 20 to 30 minutes, the family photos take about fifteen and both will usually happen during the drinks reception, so you're away from your guests for well under an hour in total and back before anyone's finished their first drink.
Couples who've been bridesmaids or groomsmen at other weddings write to me about this more than anything else. Standing in a line on a lawn for ninety minutes while the guests wait is a choice a photographer makes, and I don't make it.
How do the family photos work if you don't pose people?
Family photos are the one part of the day that needs a list, so we agree it before the wedding and keep it to the groups that matter, usually five or six. On the day someone who knows both families rounds people up while I get the first group in place, and we're done in about fifteen minutes.
I do these because in twenty years they're the photographs your family will want, and doing them fast is the kindest way to do them. Everything else on the day is unposed.
What if one of us is fine with photos and the other isn't?
That's most couples, and it changes nothing about how the day runs. The reluctant one doesn't have to perform anything, because there's nothing to perform; the photographs come from the two of you being at your own wedding.
One partner writing to me put it as "I have max one hour he wilg allow for photography". The photos of the reluctant half of a couple that they like best are nearly always the ones taken while they were talking to a brother or a friend and had no idea I was there.
We don't want getting-ready photos
Then we start at the ceremony. Several couples a year tell me they'll never want to see themselves stressed and half-ready, and I'd rather you spend that morning without a camera in the room than dread it.
The Short Story and Full Coverage packages start at morning prep by default, but the start time is yours to set, and the hours move to the end of the day instead. It's one of the most common changes I make
The only thing I’d say about this is that the “getting ready photos” aren’t actually about gettign photos of the bride getting make up applied to her face. It’s about the folks you have surrounding you and the little in between moments with your closest pals.
We're not photogenic
Nobody is photogenic in a posed photograph they didn't want to be in. Most people are photogenic when they're laughing at their best friend's speech, and that's the photograph I'm there for.
The other thing that helps is time. I start about two hours before the ceremony, which is long enough that by the time anything important happens, you've stopped noticing the camera.
Will you tell us what to do, or just leave us alone?
Mostly leave you alone, with a bit of quiet help where it makes a difference. Before the wedding I send a short document covering the plan for the portrait walk, how I handle low light at the reception and a few small things that make photos stronger without feeling like preparation. On the day I'll tell you where the good light is and then get out of the way.
A few couples ask for a little more direction during the portrait walk because they'd like a couple of photos where they know what to do with their hands. That's fine too. You set the dial.
Where are you during the ceremony?
In one spot, for most of it. I don't move around during the readings or the vows, because a photographer walking the aisle is distracting for guests and produces photographs that look like they were taken by someone trying to be noticed.
I know the moments worth anticipating, the walk in, the ring, the kiss, the walk back out, and I position for them before they happen. The rest of the ceremony I photograph from where I'm standing.
Can we see photos of couples like us, not just the beautiful ones?
Yes, and you should ask every photographer for this. A highlight reel shows the forty best frames from a wedding; the full gallery shows the speeches, the dark dance floor and the family photos, which is what you're paying for.
Ask me for two or three complete galleries and look at the in-between moments, the reactions and the quieter photographs. If those feel like the photos you want, we're a good match. If you want more direction and more portraits than that, there are excellent photographers who work that way, and I'll tell you so. If you're still deciding between approaches, my guide to wedding photography styles lays out the trade-offs.
How do we book a photographer who works like this?
Get in touch with your date and venue, and we'll have a call. I'll ask what you're looking forward to, what you're anxious about and what you'd rather I didn't do, and I'll tell you honestly whether the way I work fits your day.
A signed agreement and a €400 booking fee hold the date. Packages run from €1,850 for four hours to €7,450 for the full day with two photographers, film and video, and every price is on the packages page. If you'd like to talk it through first, get in touch.